I ended my last blog post by saying that I feel God is doing a new thing among His people. I will share what I think that new thing is, but first some personal history.
About 35 years ago I became very troubled about the lack of transformation in the Body of Christ. The Apostle Paul warned us in Romans 12, "Don't be conformed to this world system, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds." The common understanding of that verse seems to be, teach proper doctrine and train the converts in proper spiritual habits and they will become proper Christians. No so. I have been immersed in church life now for 69 years and we are a mess of contradictions. We can't seem to live up to what we preach and certainly what Jesus promised to those who follow Him. I was devastated by my first church split and sense then constant conflict in the churches of our association and denomination.
If ever there was a "miss goodie two shoes" I qualified for the title. I don't remember a time that I didn't love Jesus. I seriously followed all the rules of my church and the laws of God as I saw them. I became legalistic, careful who I spent my time with, wouldn't think of stepping outside the accepted box. I had conformed nicely to the fear-based theology of my culture. I was in bondage to my own developed righteousness and probably no spiritual good to anyone, except that I loved Jesus. The Lord graciously brought me to the end of myself because He heard my heart cry, "Lord, I want to know you. I want to know the power of Your resurrection in me, no matter where it takes me." Phil.3:9-10 became my life verse.
In my 20s I read a mission study book by Bertha Smith entitled Go Home And Tell. Miss Bertha told story after story revealing that God still related to His children as the Biblical account states. He spoke to her directly and miracles happened continually in China. That is not what my spiritual upbringing believed could happen in these modern days. I so wanted her to be right. So, taking her cue, I asked God who was right. I was desperate to know. My question went something like this: "Abraham was Your friend and You talked to Him conversationally. Do you offer that same kind of friendship with us today? Can I relate to You like Abraham did?" I was a bit surprised when He answered a very solid "YES". The scriptures came alive to me as I started asking Jesus to talk to me about what I had just read. I would have a question and He would answer. I was in the class of the Holy Spirit. I was teaching a class of teenage girls and Sunday after Sunday, one of them would ask the same question I had received an answer about the week or two before. I realized that Jesus was developing a new kind of friendship with me that was very exciting and compelling. What I was hearing in my secret place visits with Jesus was so much more interesting than the Sunday School material written for every teacher of all ages to teach each Sunday. (I do not mean to be offensive)
IF Jesus said I will do the same things He did and even greater things, I wanted to know why the church as I knew it was not doing even the things Jesus did, not to mention the greater things. If Jesus said, the finished work of Christ is enough to set people free from fear & addictions and make us act like Jesus, where was the evidence of that? If Jesus said He was giving to us His peace and removing fear, why was my heart so fearful? Why are our cabinets so full of drugs to help us cope with life and our Christian leaders in bondage to the very things we preach against? Why is the Body of Christ so dis-jointed, so fragmented, so suspicious of each other, so judgemental? I could go on and on, and these were the questions I kept agonizing over.
My hunger for closer encounters with God through Jesus Christ has continued to move me past my fear-based relationship that imposed all kinds of limits and taboos, into a love-based relationship without limits. The past 10 years have brought answers to my most troubling question: Why are we not being transformed into the image of Christ?
This writing has become longer than I think most will read, but if no one else reads it, perhaps it serves a purpose for me. Thank you for reading. I welcome your prayers on my behalf. I pray for each of you.
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