Good mornimg blogger friends! I am sitting in my bed with laptop, casting my eyes on the waterfall surrounded by the new greening trees. I have just read Psalms 42, one of my favorites to help launch a conversation with the Lord.
"Just as the deer longs for running streams God, I long for You.
I am thirsty for the living God.
When can I come and appear before You, my Lord?
You are sustaining life for me.
My soul is nourished in Your presence."
Friends, This isn't about retirement, yet retirement has brought many changes, most of which are very pleasant. Tal and I are both processing our individual "stuff" according to our personal style. You laugh? No? You think we ought to have all the quirks of living together worked out after almost 50 years of marraige?
I have more time to be exposed to the political reteric on TV that brings my sensitive soul into conflict. I have more time to dwell on personal negative traits I have not yet conquered. Then there are personality traits of my dear husband that are now flushing up negative responses to unresolved issues. Everyone has unresolved issues, many you are unaware of. Some are serious and some just irritations, but I persist in expecting them all to just disappear.
The persistent answer from the Lord is, "Thirst deeply for My waterbrooks. Drink deeply of Me."
Learning to live in the conscious awareness of life-giving Presence is my pre-occupation these days. Our physical planet is a swirl in fear, and stress threatenes to take us out, (fear of cancer, or fear of terrorism, fear of rejection and loneliness) It seems to me that the devil's strategy is simple: keep humans fear based and negative in their thinking, rob them of peace and tranquility of soul and dis-connected them from the Happy God who declares, "I AM Love and I AM your covenant partner."
I was greatly disturbed yesterday to hear on the news that a large number of government leaders have been and are now endulging their sensess with pornography. What an acknowledgment of emptiness and lack of fulfillment! I am not advocating the sticking of ones head in the "sand", but our whole society is obsessing on information that creates fear anger and dispair. At least half of all forwarded emails to me pertain to negative political information. I can not feed my mind on it and stay productive. Others are called to be in the middle and contend for righteousness in the political arena, but my soul longs for the quiet places where I can celebrate the beauty and goodness of God.
Naturally we come to the Lord with all our complaints, our miserable situations, our physical and emotional hurts and we really expect Him to change our negative circumstances. When He doesn't, we become more narcisistic and manipulative and begin the spiral downward into depression, etc. As a parent I cried to the Lord in desperation, "If you would just change my son, I would not have this depression. I can't help this anxiety. You know what is going on." And He would say back, "Do not fret and be anxious. I am here and I can handle things. Do you really believe Me?"
Those were 8 long years my Heavenly Father kept me in intensive training in the ways of the Kingdom. It is not easy bringing ones emotions and thoughts in agreement with Father. I want to do some soul chatting for the next few days. My primary goal is to encourage us followers of Christ Jesus to request a major shift in our thinking and responding to life's tribulations and personal challenges.
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